I went to one 4th of July event this weekend - an afternoon cookout and croquet game.  It was refreshing to be with a group of people that treat a game of backyard croquet as an outlet to be an obnoxious wise ass ham.  A cooler of beers helps.  I hope no one noticed that I ate most of the delicious grilled Tandori chicken.

Oh and for those of you spreading rumors that a) the gnat problem is gone, and b) the gnats won’t bite you if you rub vanilla extract on your body.  You’re wrong on both counts.  Exhibit A (notice the cloud of gnats in the foreground):

I went to the Doctor’s office yesterday because my face was swollen with bugs bites.  The bugs are at plague levels all over town and so my family decided to do the logical thing and leave the comfort of our air conditioned home and go camping.  After two nights in the woods I woke up Sunday morning with two swollen eyes, two swollen ears, lumps all over my neck and some lymph nodes as hard as walnuts.

At one point while I was out trying to play catch with my daughter, a cloud of gnats drifted into my head and I suddenly had them in my ears, in my eyes, up my nose and  a couple stuck on my tongue.  I went a little berserk and ran around spitting and waving my hands closely around my ears and face.  If someone by chance was filming me on 16mm I’m sure the result would not have been far off from one of those odd tribal dances seen by many a sociology students.

I wasn’t the only one at the doctor’s office.  There was a women who had a bite on her lip that had swollen to the size of a nickel.  I don’t know what is going on around here but it’s completely nuts (or gnats I guess).  If you stop in any one place for more than a few seconds outside you get swarmed.  I’ve been riding my bike in circles at stop signs just to keep moving and avoid getting attacked.

Ok so this is not my normal face, it’s swollen in several places:

And this is what it looks like if you stop in one place for a bit:

I’ve been looking at the funnel cloud entry for weeks now and thinking I need to write a post on the floods. Each time I went to write about it, I drew a blank. It has affected my family down in Keokuk, Iowa and Hamilton, Illinois. Thankfully, they, their homes and their businesses are all fine. Here in Fairfield we are far from any river though. And so, it’s been easy for me to focus on myself.

It’s been four months since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I don’t believe I’ve had cancer since the surgical removal of it three months ago. But because cancer was found in two lymph nodes I am going thru six months of chemo and a year of herceptin.

I haven’t been very emotional about the whole thing. Kinda shut down but trying to focus on the positive and being healthy. After my acupuncture appointment last night I could just feel all this emotion being released. I started crying off and on the whole day today. I mostly cried when I felt the support around me. But, I have been scared about this up and coming chemo.

My sushi delivery was canceled today and it totally overwhelmed me (it’s funny how obsessive I am about my food and what I can eat after chemo). Soon after this call I got another call from a dear, dear friend who offered to make me sushi!

I found out that I have three sessions of yoga/body work paid for by friends!

Tom Stark, a wonderful dear heart, came by today and did some Qigong work with me.

My husband hugged me through out the day.

So it’s 7pm, and I’m with my family standing with the window open so we can watch and listen in awe to the crack and rumble of an intense lighting storm.  And then we hear a siren.  I run to the Internet (not the basement) and check the National Weather Service.  Yep, there’s a tornado watch in effect for Jefferson county until 2am.

So do I go to the basement now?  What does the siren mean?  I don’t see people fleeing for their basements.  Two weeks ago the siren went off and I went down to the basement, but then it went off for like 3 hours and no tornado.

It started out with me reading stories in bed with P at 5:50. We let daddy sleep in and went outside to visit the garden and our favorite tree. After going on a walk, we headed to the Farmer’s Market. I bought SIX (!) types of basil and drank two fresh juices (carrot, apple, lemon and ginger) two plates of veggie sushi, a bite of a cinnamon roll and a chocolate, cherry jam and fresh whipped cream crepe. I am telling you, all of it seriously good. Can someone get me in touch with the young woman who is doing the sushi?

P played long and hard. I lounged on a blanket, visiting or staring at the sky. It was such a pleasure to not get caught up with who or what was going on. We came home and the three of us spent some family time. I made phone calls for help with my knitting and for babysitting. Both calls returned immediately with yeses.

Will and I had a lovely dinner and a movie. We walked to the car holding hands.

Nothing special. I felt normal. Ahh to feel normal. Ahh to feel at total ease with my “normal” day.

I love the Farmer’s Market here in town. It’s great to show up at the park and see all your neighbors and friends and eat crepes. And now someone has fresh juice and veggie sushi. The cool thing about her booth (in addition to the tasty sushi and juice) is she provides plastic cups and plates to be re-used.

Now if only that one woman would stop smoking near the play ground.

Get there early before it’s all gone.

Our friend Reni gave me a tip on this bee swarm happening in her front yard so I rode my bike over there to take some photos. She wasn’t kidding.

In her front yard, in small tree is was a 12-16″ long mad pile of up honey bees. I was a little nervous taking photos with all of them buzzing around me and never could get up the courage to get too close and steady for some great macros but I managed to snap a few with one arm extended.

I’ve never seen anything like this.

UPDATE: Reni reports that sometime between 1-2 pm today they all left.

As part of my quest to lighten up I went to the David Lynch Weekend concert last night. Moby was great, it was fun to hear some of his best songs, he is very personable and the people accompanying him were good too.

Despite the occasional mini panic of being surrounded by millions of people’s germs (I’m suppose to watch that sort of thing now) I had a fun time.

At the end of the concert while Donovan and Chrysta Bell butchered the Beatles tune, “Across The Universe”, I found myself thinking what a great song! And I feel inspired today to put into practice. Just after I improve my attitude a bit. ha.

So even Will and I are impressed with this one. From what I could find, he is not a mediator.  Maybe a new convert?  I hope  I can see him next weekend.

I feel like the fog has lifted and I am clear on what to do. Which is kinda funny because I just have to show up (just like most of life). But now I have all the stuff around it to give me something to feel in charge of. My daily goals are to meditate, journal, and juice, and yoga or Qigong.

A couple of times of week I will have a short massage and a gentle yoga class or Qigong.

On chemo days my goals are to have acupuncture and breakfast before treatment, ice chips during, and if need be, pot afterwards.

I changed my first treatment to Monday to get all of these things in place.