I wanted a big transition when I stopped chemo and I tried to make it so but I kept getting sick and run down.  I didn’t have the strength to change overnight.   So once again change takes its sweet time.

Last week, I was out in public without a hat on.  It feels good to have hair!  I’ve had no MRIs or CAT SCANS yet but all my check ups have been good.  I will continue taking an antibody, herceptin, until summer.  We are all assuming I am cancer free.  There is no reason to assume otherwise.

I have recognized a number of things that have changed.  I am now balancing going on with life with monitoring my health and care.  I am not trying to be perfect anymore.  I know fear is always worse than the actual something you are fearing.  I know I have little control over life.  And I feel more deeply.  It’s similar to when you have a baby and can’t watch scary movies anymore.

Best news is, I start work this week as a therapist for a local community mental health agency!  I have a job!!